Learning the lessons is hard, learning more about me is equally difficult.

Sometimes you should just listen to your inner self and take heed to what you are being told.
Today my whole being was saying "rest...... take care of you....."
BUT NO..... I did not listen.
I made a promise that I would go into the organisation that I am doing some volunteer work for to continue working on some sponsorship proposals.
I entered the work space and was instantly overwhelmed with the negativity flowing around the room.
I was fatigued when I got there, I was even more fatigued throughout the 2 hours I spent there.
My brain was not working, I managed to explete a big faux pas.............I was mortified.
That is when I knew I should not be there.
The big thing that I have to learn is to not "feel" other peoples stress and trauma.
I can't help but feel it and sometimes do not know what to do with the feeling that comes over me.
I came home absolutely shattered and feeling really unwell.
Tonight will be another early night to try and gain back some wellness.
What I would not give to be well and have the ability to function as I did in my previous life.
I have recently witnessed a number of deaths and people experiencing a major health crisis.
This brings into play your own mortality.
I am asking the universe to provide and show me the path forward.
I have been working hard to get where I want to be....... I just seem to be stuck in a holding pattern at the moment.

Kinda over it........

I started to write this entry a little while ago.
I got the title written but then left it in draft as there was so much going on I could not find the energy to even start it.

In the last 10 minutes I have told my husband to shove the chicken that he has cooked for dinner UP HIS ARSE.
Yes I was yelling. Yes I did mean it. Yes I am over it.
I am sitting here picturing a hot chicken being shoved up his arse........... really quite funny when I think about it.

There is lots moving and changing at the moment.
The house is on the market to be sold. So big moves are ahead.

I went to see my Doctor today for my monthly visit. I received my test results back and it looks like a corner has been turned.
There has finally been a small improvement.
Guess you have to be thankful for any changes.

Time to go and search for the three things that I am thankful for today.

Maybe one of them is telling my husband to shove the chicken where the sun don't shine. LOL.