Total wipeout today..............

Things sometimes just get difficult.
As if dealing with this horrible illness is not bad enough, things are sent to try me.
As part of getting benefits I have to go to job placement appointments.
This is whilst I am sorting out my application for DSP.
Well my second appointment occurred today.
It was scheduled for 9am.
The woman sat and argued with me that my appointment was 1.30pm.
She really upset me and told me I was wrong.
Works out she was looking at the wrong person on her computer screen.
She made a mistake and was not that apologetic about it.
A piece of paper was also thrust at me telling me that I had to apply for 6 jobs in the next 2 weeks.
This is all outrageous.
She also told me I was being shuffled off to another consultant.
The new consultant was a Manager in another State for the same organisation.
This all fills me with great hope........ NOT......................
With my qualifications and job history I would not have a problem in getting a job.
The issue I have is that with my illness I am not able to work at this time.
What part of this is so hard to understand.
I came home deflated and have had to go to bed.
Will take me a few days to get back up to being upright.
Until then....... one step at a time.

Fear of the Dentist.........................

I try and get to the Dentist every 6 months for a check up to ensure that I don't encounter any more problems than I need to.
Fluoride is definitely not my friend. It maybe great for my teeth but with Fibromyalgia it really makes me kinda ill.
Each time I have a check up and  teeth clean the same thing happens.
Some form of an allergic reaction and then the crash for a while.
I guess I have to weigh it up........... a small set back in health for protection of my teeth.
The thing is that teeth don't fix themselves, they don't regrow.
You get two sets in your lifetime and the alternative to not having them is pretty ordinary.
I hate going to the dentist as it is but would hate it even more if I had to have major work done.
So for the time being............ check ups and fluoride it is.

Getting up to somehow be knocked down again......

I had an appointment with a job network provider as this is a requirement by the Government when you are on benefits.
She took one look at my resume and it was obvious from my work history that I have never been out of a job.
I could apply tomorrow for a position and start work the next day.
The problem that I have is that this bloody Fibromyalgia knocks me over every single time
No one would seriously want this in their life.
On the outside you appear to be totally normal.............but there in lies the problem...... you are unable to function like everyone else.
It takes you ten times longer to do anything as you just don't have the stamina or energy.
You try and do things that everyone else takes for granted and you simply fall into a heap.
As an example. Simple things like shaving your legs or washing your hair....... you put off until you cannot stand it any longer as you simple need the energy to do other things.
CRAZY...................................
I must be thankful though.
At least I am not bedridden anymore.
Spending more than 20 hours in bed was just torture.
Now I go to bed to have a rest and to sleep at night.
Since my appointment with the job provider I have stepped up the search for a job that I could do.
There are plenty out there but none that are part time.
I have to put the handbrake on and not feel to pressured into forcing myself into something that will only end in disaster and tears.
Who knows how this will all play out.
All I can do is take one step at a time and continue to put one foot in front of the other.
The other is to be thankful each day for everything that I am and everything that I have.
Onward and Upwards..........................................................