Here are 20 life lessons you should unlearn in order to be happy by Shannon Kaiser.

1. There is a right way and a wrong way to do something.

Trying new things and exploring different processes is part of growing. What works for one person may not work for you. Find your own process and your own beliefs, and let others have their own.

2. Fitting in is belonging.

Trying to fit in means you have to contort yourself to fit other people’s views. Doing so is not being true to yourself. Instead of trying to fit in, focus on aligning with your true self. You'll belong when you are fully comfortable with yourself because you won’t need others' approval.

3. Working hard will make you successful.

The harder you work, the more worn out you will be. You won’t be able to fully enjoy your efforts. Instead of working hard, consider working smarter. Gauge your success by how much joy you are experiencing.

4. Failing is bad.

Failing is a fabulous way for you to learn more about yourself. When we try things and they don’t work, it's an opportunity to figure out why it didn’t work and how you can do it differently to succeed. The most successful people in the world have failed a million times. Ask yourself: are you failing enough?

5. Being alone means you'll be lonely.

When you enjoy your own company, you'll find you are rarely lonely.

6. Life is supposed to be smooth and free of problems.

The ups and downs of life are how we live a balanced life. Embrace each turn and allow for the changes; you will feel peace when you stop resisting.

7. What people think of you is important.

The only thing that matters is what you think about yourself. Work on your relationship with yourself and you will feel more love and joy than you ever thought possible.

8. If you were skinner, prettier, smarter, richer, or healthier, you’d be happier.

Waiting for happiness to arrive based on a destination outside of yourself will keep you in a constant chase. How many times have you actually reached that goal weight, found that dream relationship, landed that so called perfect job, and yet you still weren’t happy? Every time! Happiness is not a place outside of us; it is inside of our own hearts.

9. Your life is off-track.

Feeling like you are not where you are supposed to be or that your life hasn’t turned out the way you planned keeps you from enjoying the present moment. You are right where you need to be, trust that everything is in right order.

10. Letting go is giving up.

Letting go of stuff that weighs you down is the key to reaching new levels of success and happiness. When you let go of what no longer serves you, you make room for what you really want and need.

11. You should hold on to what’s no longer working.

Learn to be comfortable with the unknown. We hold on to things that don’t work because we fear the unknown and are afraid we don’t deserve better.

12. You need to postpone joy.

Retirement, vacation, the weekend — all are excuses keeping you from enjoying life right now, in this moment. Reach for happiness every day and you'll no longer need a vacation to achieve balance in your life because your life will be full of joy.

13. You should listen to your head over your heart.

Your head will talk you out of what you feel is right. Trusting the guidance of your heart is never wrong. Ask yourself if the situation feels right, instead of thinking your way through the problem.

14. If you don’t know how to make it happen, you shouldn't go for it.

We learn the way to achieve our dreams on the way to achieving them, so go for it. Your future self will thank you.

15. Unsupportive people don’t care about you.

What others say and do has nothing to do with you. If you have a dream that people don’t support, ask yourself if you believe in it. The more you believe in yourself and your dreams the less you need others to.

16. Self-love is selfish.

When you show up for yourself, you can show up for the world.

17. Your dreams should take a back seat to responsibility.

Your dreams are your responsibility. Don’t let excuses keep you from following through on your purpose.

18. The destination is the reward.

There is no destination; the journey is the reward, so start being present during your journey.

19. Being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.

Fully sharing yourself is the key to a happy life. Being vulnerable means you don’t hide away; instead you fully embrace yourself and shine your light.

20. Who you are is what you do.

You are not a noun. You are so much more than your job title, role or position in life. Start celebrating you for you, because you make a difference just as you are. 

Spiraling out of control.....................

I am currently running head on into a crash with no way for me to pull myself out of it or stop myself from falling.
My stress level has elevated and I cannot control my adrenals or cortisol which is causing my whole body to stay in the fight or flight mode.
I have tried meditation. I have tried relaxation, sleep, breathing, talking about it........ nothing has worked.
My last ditch effort is to blog about it in the hope that this releases it to the universe where it can be dealt with.
The issue is the fact that I am not getting better as quickly as some would want me to.
This condition is not psychological it is physical.
Some do not believe that this is the case.
I hate having to justify what is happening to me as sometimes I don't even know what is happening to me.
After a restless night I woke up at 4am to the sound of rain from ex-tropical cyclone Marcia.
My body has reacted badly, I am in pain, walking is tough today.
I have made a few steps backward today, time to dig in, rest and get back to my baseline tomorrow.

20 Lessons for living a peaceful life - Dalai Lama

This morning I read this on the Expanded Consciousness website and will put all 20 lessons into practice.

20 important life lessons from that Dalai Lama:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:
   – Respect for self,
   – Respect for others and
   – Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

The week that was........................

Almost a week since the passing of my baby girl.
I have almost stopped crying every time I speak her name, look for her in the shadows and have some sort of reminder about her.
It has been a major crash week.
Sleep has not been the best and symptoms of the CFS/Fibromyalgia/ME have flared greatly.
Stress has a major part to play in this illness.
Trying to get it under control is harder to do than say.
This is where routine in your life plays a big part.
I do feel like I have stood my ground this week and not progressed backwards........ but also not progressed any further forward.
A difficult part in all of this is managing my expectations of my recovery, not pushing myself to hard but enough to progress and also goal setting for the future with realistic goals not unrealistic.
I have many things to ponder.
What I do acknowledge is that it is ok to be where I am at the moment, and ok to want more.
I must remember to be kind to myself.

Must have known................

Last night my beautiful girl was rushed to the animal as she was having difficulties breathing.
After many tests I was told at midnight that she was in kidney failure amongst other things and that some decisions had to be made.
The best thing for Bella was to keep her comfortable and let her pass to the other side.
I have been a mess all night and have not slept.
Bella was more than just a cat.
She was my angel who always love me unconditionally as I did her.
I gave her my last warm cuddle and she slipped into a deep sleep, then she was gone.
It was all so quick like she was wanting to go.
Be at peace my little one. I will never forget you.
A chapter closed in my life.
The pain is raw. It burns my whole being.
I love you beautiful Bella Cat.