In Limbo is not a great place to be...................

It is on the brink of June 2016.
I guess I thought that I would be in different place than where I currently am.
I thought the house would have sold, I thought we would have moved to the Country, I thought I would be on the path to wellness....................................... and so many other things.
Being in the land of limbo really kinda sucks.
The house is half packed up and things are put away. Winter is a coming and I will probably have to unpack a few things as I will need them.
It is difficult to make decisions on the future when things are so uncertain.
All we can do is wait it out and let the Universe provide what it is meant to.

Regrets......I've had a few..... but then again.... too few to mention..........

As the song goes........ but I did it MY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
I have at times throughout my life, reflected on the people I have met, loved and lost as well as the interactions that have made huge impressions on me.
Sometimes the names of people will pop into my head and I will have a little cringe or wonder what ever happened to them.
I also wonder if they ever have my name pop into their head...... lol
I guess it is all a learning process.
I don't think I have ever caught myself dwelling on a situation, it is more like asking myself the questions of why did I do that and what did I learn from it.
Sometimes the answer is very clear and other times it is not.
I guess what I am trying to say is that we all do things in our lives that we could have done differently.
Owning and learning from it are the things that make us grow stronger and into better people.
Then there are the people that play games and try to draw you into their webs.
I am sure everyone has come across many of those.
I guess I am lucky that I can now spot them a mile away and have the skills to deflect them.
I strive each day to be my authentic self and have gotten to a place in my life where I have accepted myself, flaws and all.
It doesn't mean that I like the place that I find myself in, it just means that it is not permanent.
I embrace change and challenge.
Previously I was afraid of change and like everything to be in a certain order.......... but look where that got me.
My Mother always tells me........ "Don't sweat the things you cannot change".
I have reconciled this within myself and embrace it whilst looking for a different path.
Being on this learning curve over the last 3 years has taught me a lot and all of which I am eternally grateful.

Reflections on the lead up to Labour Day celebrations in OZ

I may not look sick, but I struggle with what others take for granted each day.

I may always reply to your question of “How are you” with a “Fine Thanks” but I don’t tell you how it really is because explaining it just takes too much energy and I find talking about it just so boring.

Only those that I live with understand the extent of change that has happened in my life.

It is at this time of the year, being Labour Day that I feel it the most.

I mourn the loss of my old life. I mourn the loss of being active in my life.

I mourn the loss of the friends that have fallen by the wayside.

I am grateful that I have reached a recovery point of 60%  and have stabilised.

I want more and know it will take time to get there.

I know you want to help and offer up suggestions about ways to get well.

I thank you for sending me information and rest assured I do research things to see if I have tried it already and if not, will it be of benefit.

Sometimes it can get very lonely.

I am blessed to have a loving Husband that understands how it is.

He encourages me to leave the house when I have been within the walls for too many days.

I do not post this for any other reason than to let my friends know, you are often in my thoughts and in my heart.

Some days are worse than others so reaching you can become tough.

I know I don’t look sick……….. but there you are ……. not everything is always as it seems.