It is difficult for someone that has not been exposed to a person who has Fibromyalgia to understand what it is all about.
It is not just fatigue like symptoms. It can be a whole heap of unexplained aches, pains, burning pain, headaches, unexplained lumps and masses...... and the list can go on.
Stress can cause huge issues physically as well as emotionally.
For some reason I am currently experiencing a "crash".
Not sure if it is season related, stress reaction related or simply just one of those things.
Spending large amounts of time resting does my head in and is difficult to deal with.
Small things take a large amount of energy.
One of the major things I have learnt since my "what I call the definitive crash" on 12th December 2013, is that pacing is the key to having some sort of normal life back again.
Even pacing sometimes does not stop the crashes.
Recognising the signs, making yourself stop, having supportive people around you as well as trusting your Doctor and medically professionals who have experience with Fibromyalgia also helps.
Before my "definitive crash" I took life on at 150% throttle. I just kept pushing through it in the hope that I would just get better and my life would return to normal.
There are some things that you just can't push through.
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Monday, 28 April 2014
Walking in the same place and just marking time.......
I feel like I have been walking in the same place for the few weeks now.
On the 15th of this month I have a conciliation hearing relating to my previous employer.
It has all been really nasty business and for what reason I am unsure.
My only guess is that it is not about me but the other person who has some pretty major issues.
I actually feel sorry for this person in a lot of ways. Mainly because it must take so much energy to have so much venom, hate and nastiness inside of them.
I have been sick for a long time and have struggled to keep going. I am thankful and eternally grateful for my support network.
Without my sister, my husband and my family I would not have made it this far.
My sister has shouldered so many of my burdens, she has become angry when I did not have the energy to do so, she has spoken sense to me when I just wanted everything to simply go away.
Bullies should not be let get away with the behaviour that they display and the things that they do to people.
One of the other things that has kept me going is the dreaming of our bright new future.
My husband and I will buy our property.
We will have a self sufficient life that we can enjoy, learn from, invite others to share and most importantly grow old together living the best life that we can possibly have.
This morning on "The Letters of Gratitude" I read something that resonated with me and I want to share it.
"Repeat this to yourself every morning. I will embrace change because as awkward as it feels, I know I am being prepared for something bigger and better."
On the 15th of this month I have a conciliation hearing relating to my previous employer.
It has all been really nasty business and for what reason I am unsure.
My only guess is that it is not about me but the other person who has some pretty major issues.
I actually feel sorry for this person in a lot of ways. Mainly because it must take so much energy to have so much venom, hate and nastiness inside of them.
I have been sick for a long time and have struggled to keep going. I am thankful and eternally grateful for my support network.
Without my sister, my husband and my family I would not have made it this far.
My sister has shouldered so many of my burdens, she has become angry when I did not have the energy to do so, she has spoken sense to me when I just wanted everything to simply go away.
Bullies should not be let get away with the behaviour that they display and the things that they do to people.
One of the other things that has kept me going is the dreaming of our bright new future.
My husband and I will buy our property.
We will have a self sufficient life that we can enjoy, learn from, invite others to share and most importantly grow old together living the best life that we can possibly have.
This morning on "The Letters of Gratitude" I read something that resonated with me and I want to share it.
"Repeat this to yourself every morning. I will embrace change because as awkward as it feels, I know I am being prepared for something bigger and better."
Saturday, 26 April 2014
I dreamed a dream in times gone by..............
Dreaming of my new life filled with open spaces, clean air, self sufficiency, organically grown fruit and vegetables, my little café using our produce which will be open on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, a whole heap of organic egg laying chickens, my soul mate beside me living a beautiful life.
Due to my illness I have trouble being in the car for long distances. I generally do not do so well if I am in the car travelling for more than 2 hours.
So we have been looking for our dream property not more than 1 and a 1/2 from Brisbane. It has to be between 20 to 40 acres, fit for our purpose and at the right price.
We have looked at a couple of places. Some have potential.
I am sure the right thing will appear and all will fall into place,
I am now leaving it up to the universe to provide the right thing for us.
The last 5 years have been tough and as a family we have struggled through them.
There were times where I did not think I was on the right path.
I had to dig deep and ask myself some really hard questions and face some really harsh realities.
Creating stillness in my world allowed me to see the potential of what we could do, where we could go and what our future will look like.
I thank the people who have treated me badly as they have shown me that I deserve better.
I am grateful to the people who have had faith and love for me. They are the people who have been there to catch me when I have fallen.
Out of adversity comes a big bright beautiful future.
Due to my illness I have trouble being in the car for long distances. I generally do not do so well if I am in the car travelling for more than 2 hours.
So we have been looking for our dream property not more than 1 and a 1/2 from Brisbane. It has to be between 20 to 40 acres, fit for our purpose and at the right price.
We have looked at a couple of places. Some have potential.
I am sure the right thing will appear and all will fall into place,
I am now leaving it up to the universe to provide the right thing for us.
The last 5 years have been tough and as a family we have struggled through them.
There were times where I did not think I was on the right path.
I had to dig deep and ask myself some really hard questions and face some really harsh realities.
Creating stillness in my world allowed me to see the potential of what we could do, where we could go and what our future will look like.
I thank the people who have treated me badly as they have shown me that I deserve better.
I am grateful to the people who have had faith and love for me. They are the people who have been there to catch me when I have fallen.
Out of adversity comes a big bright beautiful future.
Friday, 25 April 2014
Working out what you don't want, leads you to uncover what you DO want
It was a tough road travelled in 2013. I was working in a job that was quite demanding, for a boss who was a challenge to work for, with an out of control workload.
My family complained about my behaviour, I was always fatigued, I worked 7 days a week for about 7 - 8 months and I did not have any fun in my life.
The universe kept throwing things at me to get me to stop and take care of myself.
Of course I did not listen and kept pushing myself to get through each day, then each month till something had to give.
As a result I ended up incredibly ill, unable to work and looking at my life through very sad eyes.
I had spent my whole time trying to keep it together and giving 150% to work, that the rest of my life, my family and friends got none of me.
All relationships take work to sustain them.
So after crashing in December of 2013 due to adrenal fatigue and Fibromyalgia, I was forced to stop and breathe.
4 months since my crash date I am slowly putting the pieces back together.
There are still challenges to face both with my health as well as unfair treatment from my previous place of employment.
I feel positive that this will all work itself out. I am learning the lessons that are required for me to have the life I deserve.
Remembering that you are never presented with more than you can handle is important.
One thing that has made a difference in my everyday life is stumbling across this website.
http://thelettersofgratitude.com/
Being grateful is so important and this website puts things into perspective.
My family complained about my behaviour, I was always fatigued, I worked 7 days a week for about 7 - 8 months and I did not have any fun in my life.
The universe kept throwing things at me to get me to stop and take care of myself.
Of course I did not listen and kept pushing myself to get through each day, then each month till something had to give.
As a result I ended up incredibly ill, unable to work and looking at my life through very sad eyes.
I had spent my whole time trying to keep it together and giving 150% to work, that the rest of my life, my family and friends got none of me.
All relationships take work to sustain them.
So after crashing in December of 2013 due to adrenal fatigue and Fibromyalgia, I was forced to stop and breathe.
4 months since my crash date I am slowly putting the pieces back together.
There are still challenges to face both with my health as well as unfair treatment from my previous place of employment.
I feel positive that this will all work itself out. I am learning the lessons that are required for me to have the life I deserve.
Remembering that you are never presented with more than you can handle is important.
One thing that has made a difference in my everyday life is stumbling across this website.
http://thelettersofgratitude.com/
Being grateful is so important and this website puts things into perspective.
Wednesday, 23 April 2014
What's it all about???
Have you ever asked yourself the age old question "what is this life time all about and why am I continually presented with challenging situations" ???
I have been asking myself these questions for a little while now. I think that I am slowly unravelling and making some sense of the things that have challenged me over the last few years.
The biggest thing that has entered my consciousness is that I have cared about what other people have thought of me too much and allowed this to drive everything that I was doing.
I guess I figured that if I gave 150% of me and continued to work as hard as I could, then everything would be fabulous.
That was mistake number one.
There are some people in this world that will always take advantage of others. There are bullies that are passive aggressive. These people think that it is OK to push someone to the extreme, to manipulate situations and break people down. The really sad part is that these bullies enjoy it.
My world for the last 11 years has been in a work environment that was supposed to be supportive of the "underdog, the vulnerable workers, the people that needed support".
Some of the people driving these organisations need to take a good hard look at themselves as the behaviours that they want to stamp out, are the behaviours that they are placing upon the workers they employ.
The old adage ........... the builder lived in an unfinished house.
The second mistake that I can pinpoint is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a very open and honest person and I guess this has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.
I do not want to have to apologise for being what I consider to be kind and caring.
If someone asks me for help that if I am able I will be there.
There are people in this world that are calculating, manipulating and just black of heart. They would never help another person unless there was something in it for them.
The other thing that I have discovered is that sometimes these people napalm everyone and everything around them. This is to make sure they always appear to the outside world that they are strong, in control and no one should dare take them on or challenge them.
I say to that....................WHO CARES.......No one has to be right all the time.
What a sad and lonely existence if you have to burn everyone that ever cared a single smidge about you and your life.
How sad to think of yourself as a tough cookie that no one dares to mess with.
Some people are not honest and do not tell it how it is. They are afraid of being caught up in the napalm so choose to remain silent. So the bullies get away with their behaviour as no one wants to get involved or say NO THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WRONG.
It reminds me of a clip that I saw on facebook the other day. A guy in South Africa was filmed playing his drums in the complex in which he lived. His neighbours knocked on his door and told him to stop and how dare he disturb them. The next week he played a disturbing domestic violence audio track at the same noise level through his stereo system. Not one person knocked on his door...............
My goal in 2014 is to open myself up to new horizons, kick this CFS/ME disease or at least manage it so I can have a fulfilling life, live each day as it comes with love and light in my heart and to not associate with the negative, black hearted people that stomp through this lifetime crushing all in their path.
I have been asking myself these questions for a little while now. I think that I am slowly unravelling and making some sense of the things that have challenged me over the last few years.
The biggest thing that has entered my consciousness is that I have cared about what other people have thought of me too much and allowed this to drive everything that I was doing.
I guess I figured that if I gave 150% of me and continued to work as hard as I could, then everything would be fabulous.
That was mistake number one.
There are some people in this world that will always take advantage of others. There are bullies that are passive aggressive. These people think that it is OK to push someone to the extreme, to manipulate situations and break people down. The really sad part is that these bullies enjoy it.
My world for the last 11 years has been in a work environment that was supposed to be supportive of the "underdog, the vulnerable workers, the people that needed support".
Some of the people driving these organisations need to take a good hard look at themselves as the behaviours that they want to stamp out, are the behaviours that they are placing upon the workers they employ.
The old adage ........... the builder lived in an unfinished house.
The second mistake that I can pinpoint is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a very open and honest person and I guess this has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.
I do not want to have to apologise for being what I consider to be kind and caring.
If someone asks me for help that if I am able I will be there.
There are people in this world that are calculating, manipulating and just black of heart. They would never help another person unless there was something in it for them.
The other thing that I have discovered is that sometimes these people napalm everyone and everything around them. This is to make sure they always appear to the outside world that they are strong, in control and no one should dare take them on or challenge them.
I say to that....................WHO CARES.......No one has to be right all the time.
What a sad and lonely existence if you have to burn everyone that ever cared a single smidge about you and your life.
How sad to think of yourself as a tough cookie that no one dares to mess with.
Some people are not honest and do not tell it how it is. They are afraid of being caught up in the napalm so choose to remain silent. So the bullies get away with their behaviour as no one wants to get involved or say NO THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WRONG.
It reminds me of a clip that I saw on facebook the other day. A guy in South Africa was filmed playing his drums in the complex in which he lived. His neighbours knocked on his door and told him to stop and how dare he disturb them. The next week he played a disturbing domestic violence audio track at the same noise level through his stereo system. Not one person knocked on his door...............
My goal in 2014 is to open myself up to new horizons, kick this CFS/ME disease or at least manage it so I can have a fulfilling life, live each day as it comes with love and light in my heart and to not associate with the negative, black hearted people that stomp through this lifetime crushing all in their path.
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