How hard it is to be a step-parent.

I have been a step-parent for almost 9 years and I have to say a lot of the time it has sucked.

I opened my heart, life, finances and emotions to 2 children that I gave my everything to.

I sat down and wrote a letter to the 14yr old step-daughter that she may never read, but it really sums up everything that I feel.

4/2/16

Dear Renee

I am writing this letter which you may never read, which is ok with me. 

This is really to put down in words how I feel about what you have done and how your behaviour has effected both myself and your Father.

You have displayed behaviour that is really unbecoming of a young lady.

You have been rude, arrogant, self-absorbed, insensitive, sneaky, deceitful and not willing to participate within a family unit.

You are not the child I have spent the last 9 years raising and instilling good morals and values in.

I hope that you are happy at your mothers, I am sure she will let you get away with everything. I am sure you will starve yourself, become sick, not improve your mental health and most probably you will end up just like your mum, pregnant and a single mother with no University degree and working in a dead end job with no house or security.

Good luck with all of that.

You have torn your Father’s heart out. We both feel so betrayed and hurt by you and your behaviour.

Your Father and I have stood up for you with the school and others. We have fought battles for you that were really yours to fight.

We have lost relationships over you and your behaviour as we always put you first.

As a step-parent I have treated you as if you were my own flesh and blood.

I have done nothing but support and love you, as well as put you first before me for the last 9 years.

Well, this ends now.

You have made your choice, you continue to do things that hurt and I will not stand by and let you continue to hurt your Father or my heart any more.

After hearing the lies that you have told everyone today, I am further disappointed.

We did not kick you out. It was your choice to leave. 

You made the decision to change your number and not tell us the number. 

Your choice was to push us away.

You have told many lies to your Grandmother. I believe it is to just make you feel better about the decisions you have made. 

You have to own everything you have done and stop blaming your Father and myself for what you have done.

So it is done. What has been done cannot be undone.

We are starting our new life without you in it.

We will no longer consider you when we are making decisions.

Good luck to you.