Have you ever asked yourself the age old question "what is this life time all about and why am I continually presented with challenging situations" ???
I have been asking myself these questions for a little while now. I think that I am slowly unravelling and making some sense of the things that have challenged me over the last few years.
The biggest thing that has entered my consciousness is that I have cared about what other people have thought of me too much and allowed this to drive everything that I was doing.
I guess I figured that if I gave 150% of me and continued to work as hard as I could, then everything would be fabulous.
That was mistake number one.
There are some people in this world that will always take advantage of others. There are bullies that are passive aggressive. These people think that it is OK to push someone to the extreme, to manipulate situations and break people down. The really sad part is that these bullies enjoy it.
My world for the last 11 years has been in a work environment that was supposed to be supportive of the "underdog, the vulnerable workers, the people that needed support".
Some of the people driving these organisations need to take a good hard look at themselves as the behaviours that they want to stamp out, are the behaviours that they are placing upon the workers they employ.
The old adage ........... the builder lived in an unfinished house.
The second mistake that I can pinpoint is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a very open and honest person and I guess this has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.
I do not want to have to apologise for being what I consider to be kind and caring.
If someone asks me for help that if I am able I will be there.
There are people in this world that are calculating, manipulating and just black of heart. They would never help another person unless there was something in it for them.
The other thing that I have discovered is that sometimes these people napalm everyone and everything around them. This is to make sure they always appear to the outside world that they are strong, in control and no one should dare take them on or challenge them.
I say to that....................WHO CARES.......No one has to be right all the time.
What a sad and lonely existence if you have to burn everyone that ever cared a single smidge about you and your life.
How sad to think of yourself as a tough cookie that no one dares to mess with.
Some people are not honest and do not tell it how it is. They are afraid of being caught up in the napalm so choose to remain silent. So the bullies get away with their behaviour as no one wants to get involved or say NO THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WRONG.
It reminds me of a clip that I saw on facebook the other day. A guy in South Africa was filmed playing his drums in the complex in which he lived. His neighbours knocked on his door and told him to stop and how dare he disturb them. The next week he played a disturbing domestic violence audio track at the same noise level through his stereo system. Not one person knocked on his door...............
My goal in 2014 is to open myself up to new horizons, kick this CFS/ME disease or at least manage it so I can have a fulfilling life, live each day as it comes with love and light in my heart and to not associate with the negative, black hearted people that stomp through this lifetime crushing all in their path.
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